im pretty sure i have the best boyfriend in the world.
this is all i have to say on the topic. the rest i will keep secret - explained only to myself in how my heart swells and my stomach feels when i think of him and i know...

what do i know enough about the nineties to miss it? but i do.
the spacey music, the dirt, i could have called my life in new mexico my own personal nineties.

i was born at the wrong time. we all were. we're doomed to miss things that werent ever ours, and we dont know how to create anything that is. so everything is intangible. everything flirts with the idea of palpable. we'll always be steps behind. smell, then our most important sense. our only floodgate.

i cant detect my floodgates. and so i am all the more susceptible to them. im not entirely sure this is fair.

a beautiful fall sunday in new york city. i dont know what to do with this aching in my heart. itll take me another two years to settle, you know.

i feel most lonely for you when the weather turns. when i go out walking and all the dogs in the neighborhood square off with mine. when their owners look at me like im a bad parent. which i am sure are projections of my own thoughts. i am.

the dog and i are both freezing. i know, its only forty nine degrees. really, its only forty nine degrees. thats colder than ive been in a very long time. come to me, keep me warm.

i know im hard please. but i am not hard to love. those who have told me otherwise, are not only wrong but ignorant and will be unsuccessful for the rest of their lives. ;D